Every once in a while you feel like to have a punching bag...wherein you can take out all the remorse , anger, irritation you have....This is the biggest disadvantage of civilization that a human cannot be a human...that they cannot express their emotions....why do we need to do all that smiling and nodding when inside you are fuming...
Punching bag is just a metaphor...but actually what you refer to is a person...whom you can be just yourself....i have one...but after that verbal diarrihea of anger and resentment....i upset him...i make him sad...because during this whole course i am shouting....without even realizing that he has played no part in it....he doesnt take it at heart but he becomes clearly upset...i cant just stop....
then when i am low i feel bad...i pity myself that i cant even understand him....i know this is getting really personal and nobody writes it all...but i write to tell people that i am not all GOOD...i am so many BAD things too....and as a penance to what i did...i write this...Sorry my dear...i never want to hurt you..
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